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Family History
My mother was adopted when she was just an infant. In public & in the
presence of her father, her mother was a model parent. She baked cookies,
attended school functions and participated in the PTA. However, when they
were alone things were very different. My mother's mother would pinch her,
pull her hair, bite, scratch, wrestle her to the floor and sit on her.
This type of abuse occurred on a daily basis for as long as my mother can
remember. My mother was told that her real parents gave her away
because they knew she was no good. The verbal abuse was much more damaging
than the physical abuse. Her father, whom she
loved very much, passed away when she was about 13 years old. After her
father's death the abusive escalated to very dangerous levels. My mother
became pregnant at age 16 to escape the verbal and physical abuse of her
mother. This was her second pregnancy. She first became
pregnant by my father at age 14 and her mother forced her to have an
abortion. Marrying my father seemed to be her only way out, so they
conspired to conceive a child and hide the pregnancy until it was too late for
an abortion.
Early in the marriage my father began to use drugs and his personality completely changed. He began to beat my mother regularly. Once he beat her for cleaning out his truck and discovering a bag of pills, as well as some cocaine. This was the first time my father beat my mother. Another time he beat her because a bail of marijuana was dropped onto our farm and the cows had eaten a large portion before my mother was able to pull it into safety. It shouldn't come as a surprise that my father became abusive mainly because he was severely beaten and neglected by his mother. The abuse has been acknowledged by several family members. The odds seemed stacked against my parents for any hope of a healthy relationship. Neither of them had any idea of what a healthy marriage was.
In addition to the physical abuse, my father was also emotionally and economically abusive. My father worked while my mother stayed home to raise me and my two younger brothers. Without a high school education and no job skills, she was forced to rely on my father for money, which he rarely gave her. She wasn't even allowed to have a checking account of her own. During times of their separation, my mother was forced to apply for state assistance because my father never provided any spousal or child support. She was continually told by both her husband and mother that she was no good and destined to fail at everything. My mother concealed the abuse and never involved the police. She was ashamed and blamed herself, believing that she had failed as a wife and a mother.
Rehabilitation
I can also share a bit of what my mother has done to rehabilitate herself while
in prison. First and foremost, she has accepted responsibility for the
crime and acknowledges her terrible, irreversible mistakes. My mother has
dedicated her life to the Lord and in turn has been granted his unconditional
love and forgiveness. She is very active in the church and its prison
ministry. My mother has focused her energy in every positive way the
prison would allow. She has also expressed extreme remorse for the death
of my father and clearly never wanted it to happen in the first place. My mother
would do anything to undo the events of the past, but recognizes that her
mistakes can never really be changed.
My mother obtained a GED, completed a vocational course in clerical skills, as well as several hours of college credit in various areas. She was an unskilled housewife without a high school diploma when she began her life sentence. At present, she is proficient with several computer programs and was even able to instruct other inmates. My mother has joined clubs and organizations within the prison that have taught her public speaking skills and good self-esteem. For a time, she served as the president of the prison's local chapter of Toastmasters. In addition, my mother has received numerous awards by various departments and groups within the prison.
At the time of my mother’s conviction she was a woman in need of counseling, education, and support. Prison enabled her to get the help she so desperately needed. It is ironic that she probably wouldn’t have received the same assistance had she not been incarcerated. Given the abusive nature of her relationship with my father, she might not even be alive today. Today my mother is a person who has a strong sense of self. She knows what she would like to do with her life, if given a chance to be free. My mother cares deeply for people, especially those suffering or in need. It is a wonderful source of accomplishment for her to be able to share her knowledge and help other young women. I believe she would be a tremendous asset to any community where she could further her efforts to help people in need. She could be especially valuable working at a women’s shelter. There isn’t nearly enough support for battered women and their children.
I pray for the day my mother is released so that my brothers and I might have the opportunity to rebuild our family. No one in this case has suffered more than my 2 younger brothers and I, who lost both of our parents and were sent from foster homes to family members. I am now a mother and can identify with how painful it would be to lose your children. No punishment could possibly be greater. I would like my own children to have an opportunity to get to know their grandmother outside of the prison walls. My mother has been punished for her crime and I strongly believe that she is no threat to society. Many people in my community are aware of her situation and support her release and parole to Oregon.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my letter. As we await my mother's clemency hearing, I hope to rally as much support for her as I can. Thank you for allowing me to share my mother's situation with you. Please feel free to contact me with any questions you might have.
For more information please email me
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